Most of us grow up with the fairy tales ending with “And they lived Happily Ever After”. Of course they never tell us how they achieved this. That would not make for nearly the easy story, nicely tied up with pretty ribbons. We expect those trumpets and angels to sing because we have found our soulmate!
When we fall in love, it is a mix of many hormones, brain chemistry, that cause all those butterflies. Dopamine, oxytocin and other incredible chemicals all play important roles in being in love. With all those incredible feelings, we are walking on air, often floating from one awesome love filled day to the next. We think this is going to last forever. However, it does not. It would be exhausting!
Somewhere around 18 months to 2 years into a relationship, we come back to earth. Those chemicals and hormones are no longer flooding our bodies on a daily and hourly rate. This is about the time we may say we are not in love with our partner. Instead of being in love, we have reached the point where love is now a daily choice we make. This is the time in many relationships that things fall apart. We don’t realize that we have to make the choice to not only love our partner but to act loving. Yes, love is a choice and action.
It is not really your fault that this rude awakening occurs! None of us are issued a handbook on love or a memo on when and how it all happens. We do not expect to live with and love one person who not only loves us very deeply and wants the very best for us while at the same time being the one person who drives us to the brink of madness, who gets on our last nerve. This is the same person who brings out the very best in us and helps us grow into the person we should be.
How can we know the person we say is our soul mate is indeed the very one we want to spend our lives with? What tells us that this person “gets” us as no one else can? Take a few minutes and list 5 to 10 reasons this person holds this very special place, reasons they are considered life long partner or soul mate? Take a few minutes now and think deeply about all these incredible traits and express gratitude for having all of this available each and every day.
This is the first step into Happily Ever After—recognizing the love and bounty in our lives and then expressing gratitude for it. Recognize your very own Prince Charming
If you are looking for ways to make sure Happily Ever After is in your hands, contact us! We can work with you to be sure you have all the relationship skills you need to achieve your goals.