All Faiths Wedding Officiants
of the Triad

We write beautiful words
that end with a kiss!

Family Blending Ceremonies

When there are children in the family, it is appropriate for the children to be included into the wedding ceremony. Children will accept a parent’s remarriage more readily when they feel included in the wedding ceremony.  Each family will know what is right for the children in their family.  Those needs will vary based on age, developmental issues, relationship with parents and the new partner.  Some families include the children in the wedding party and feel that is enough inclusion.   Others want to do something special during the ceremony to acknowledge the children’s role in the family

While we feel it is important for children to be included in the ceremony and for the parents to welcome the children, and to thank them for sharing their parent, it is not appropriate for the adults to make promises to the children.  It is important to remember that this ceremony is a marriage between the adults and that the children have no control or real say so in the situation. We also know that it is not developmentally appropriate for the children to make promises to the adults (because we know they can’t keep them and then they feel responsible for any difficulties that might arise). We can help you develop exactly the right level of involvement for your children.

These are some examples from other families. Most of the Unity Ceremonies can also be adapted to include family blending, let us know which one you may want to include and we can work with you to make it just right.

Family Sand-blending  –  This is a variation on the Sand blending by the couple.  This includes the children joining their parents in pouring different colored sands to symbolize the joining of the couple and their family together. The children love this version.   The results are usually bright and bold.

Unity Circle– Each member of the family joins hands,usually starting with one parent joining with their child, that child joins with another child and around until the last child joins with the second parent and then the two parents join their hands together to complete the circle.  Words are spoken about the importance of love and family and how this marriage also recognizes the coming together of two families to form one new one.

Giving of Gifts to Children-just as the adults getting married exchange rings to demonstrate their commitment, parents can give gifts to the children to show their love and commitment to them.  We will work with the parents to develop appropriate words for this section of the ceremony, depending on the age of the children.

Words Concerning Family Blending-There are times when a family wants to recognize the blending of families but can’t or don’t want to do anything physical.  The children might be older and not into doing a unity ceremony or for some reason all of the children can’t be present.  We can write words to recognize the love the parents have for the children and their importance in this new family.