On your wedding day, there will be any number of glitches. When Jac and I got married, the only thing I really remember of the ceremony is the fact that his knees started shaking so hard on the prayer bench that he nearly knocked me off! We still laugh about that 47 years later. For most couples, those unexpected and unplanned things are the most memorable and talked about.
Some of these unplanned/unexpected events may be things that simply were not well planned, some may be oversights by others, mistakes made by the professionals or even by the wedding couple. And sometimes, what appears to be a mistake or out of the ordinary is actually something the couple asked for and makes total sense. No matter what happens, the show (wedding) must go on. While we professionals strive to make your wedding day perfect, we are still humans. Things will happen that were not on the timeline! Let the professionals you have hired handle it!
Often, it is better to simply let a mistake slide at the time. Trying to correct something at the time, may actually call more attention to it than if it just goes on. Trust your professional at the time to make that decision. The show must go on!
Also, remember that what others may perceive as a mistake or error may actually be what you, the wedding couple, want!
Fortunately, today there is no absolutely right or wrong way for a wedding day to go. While there are traditions in weddings, often they no longer serve the purpose or the needs of modern couples. There are many “traditions” which no longer have a valid purpose in todays society. Let’s take a look at some of them.
Not seeing one another before the ceremony was part of the history of arranged marriages. At that time, weddings were between two people who often had not met prior to the wedding day. Not seeing each other prevented them from running! With today’s modern couples this is no longer necessary. First looks are increasingly popular and reduce a lot of the stress on wedding days. We encourage couples to have a first look.
Having a woman stand on right (as looking at the ceremony) placed her on the dominate sword hand of the man. This allowed him to defend against any challenges to his right to marry her. Since we no longer have to worry about being challenged on our wedding day, there is no need to worry about which side someone stands on. We have had people want to stand in a particular place for any number of reasons: having a hearing impairment in one ear, a scar they do not want to show in photos, to hide or accent a tattoo, a personal preference, or even to be able to look at their parents over the shoulder of their new partner while saying their vows.
While you can certainly change things up to break with traditions that are no longer meaningful or helpful, there are ways to help prevent “accidents” and mis-steps. Start by deciding which traditions hold meaning to you, which ones you want to ditch totally and which ones you want to change in some way to keep the traditional feel while making them meaningful to you. Talk to your professional officiant and your planner about ceremonial aspects you want to change.
We recommend having a rehearsal. A rehearsal allows everyone to know what to expect during the ceremony, where their position is and the order in which they enter. At rehearsal, always have your event manager or planner present to guide the process. Your planner/event manager can guide your rehearsal and help you walk through it step by step. They guide you in when to enter, where to stand, when to exit and where to go after exiting. The officiant can walk you through the steps of the ceremony, when to hold hands and what to do during special aspects of the ceremony.
We always recommend having a planner or event manager on hand at the ceremony site. This person’s job is to get each person down the aisle in the correct order and at the right time. They also help guide each person in where to stand. They can work with you to discuss any variations you may want in historical line up, placement and order of entrance, positioning etc. A trained professional planner/event manager will have the background and training to help guide you as you make the decisions regarding what is meaningful to you in your ceremony.
And remember, the show must go on! When you surround yourself with competent trained professionals, they will take it all in stride and make it all look perfect. At the end of the day, you will be married and that was the entire purpose of all this planning!
Contact us to see how we can make sure your ceremony truly reflects all that is meaningful to you!